Before we decided to go through the godform cycle, as we were reading the book on the dkmu godforms, I felt inspired to make this image of Trigag. I have a painting in a similar configuration of the character Leviathan from the Illuminatus! trilogy. The only difference is that Leviathan was white, and I painted their eye horizontally. Anyway, I drew this before I had performed a formal evocation of Trigag, but I like it enough to share all the same. This is a sketch rather than a finished artwork…
This time Dana made the sigil and prepared the altar. We started the ritual late, and were quite tired by the time we did. Also I hadn’t had time to prepare the calling, so we decided that on this first day a meditation would suffice. I had doubts about making successful contact because it seemed insufficient.
However, eventually I heard Trigag chastise me, telling me everything I need to make contact was present, “the altar is prepared, the music is honouring, the incense is pleasing, the sigil is before you…”
The conversation I had with Trigag is, on reflection, reading it back, very revealing. We discussed my fear of losing my happy life holding me back from achieving what I really want. He scoffed at some of my ideas to make money in alternative ways and actually gave me advice that at the time sounded vague, but which now sounds spot on. He flattered me a bit with some comments about my writing in comparison to a couple of famous authors. I’m not sure if he meant that I write better, or if he meant I have better stories to tell though. After all, he did then tell me I was a little rusty with that kind of writing, so perhaps he did mean the latter.
Before the ritual we ate a Chinese. We saved the fortune cookies to open in the ritual. Mine read “Your greatest virtue is modesty”. That seems to have fit the theme of self-doubt that emerged from my conversation with Trigag.
Dream 1: Looking for a lost boy in Asia. (When I awoke, Dana told me she also had dreams of looking for lost people).
Dream 2: I was persuading Dana to get into a leaking boat, convinced it was good enough to get us where we needed to go, but she was expressing concern. We got in, and though it was a little wet, we sailed safely enough down stream, between the trees. Suddenly however the boat came out of the trees as the stream fed into a bay. To the right was a huge 10m wave heading our way. “Oh fuck” I exclaimed, realising we were in trouble…
Bath: I saw an inverse of one the Trigag paintings in the bath, the one with the white face with black triangle. In the bath, as I was getting in, my shadow created a black figure, and on the face some reflection of light created a white triangle…
Film: Pearl Button, This is a moving artistic and political documentary about disappeared people in Chili, the Indians of Patagonia, the water people, water, the sea and the stars. Some of the Indians of Patagonia had black and white make up in patterns that resembled that painting of Trigag with the white face with black triangle.
Ritual: We had prepared the calling this time and opened with a Kia IAO and the calling. I asked Trigag to guide an automatic drawing for me and got this…
When I asked for an interpretation he replied that it was for me to interpret. Then he added, “maybe not even you, maybe it is for others to analyse and understand you by.”
Film: We watched ‘Lightkeepers’ A romantic comedy that was perhaps more Zalty than Trigag.
Ritual: We decided to do the ritual lying down on bean bags for a longer or deeper meditation. Or maybe it was because we were pretty tired as usual for a Friday evening.
I ended up visualising the Trigag/Leviathan sketch I had done before the cycle started, as mentioned in the preparation. I asked Trigag what they thought of the image and they gave me a long reply…
“It is an amusing image. If Ellis is Eris in the trilogy, then I am Leviathan, and certainly we are the same archetype that appears in fiction as Leviathan, Cthulhu, Moby Dick, Kumugwe. All masks of the same mystery.
Of course Leviathan in Illuminatus is white, a reference to Moby Dick, whereas I am black. So how do we reconcile that? Well the Gnostic Leviathan was not a creature of the sea, but a cosmic serpent, the ouroborus Milky Way. If you look at the Milky Way you see only the stars gathered in the spiral arm. But what gathered them? A giant all consuming black hole.
The light of the stars is no more the galaxy than the glowing lure is the deep sea angler fish.”
Dreams: I had dreams of being addicted to starting new (erotic) relationships. This is weird because I feel awkward and really have to push myself outside of my comfort zone to engage in new relationships of that kind and am thankful that I’m in a long term loving relationship. But maybe there is some kind of excitement that comes along with the awkwardness I fear? Certainly no where near enough reward to sacrifice the good thing Dana and I have together though.
Ritual: Today the weather was pretty good, the warmest of the year so far at that point. (14C, well it is the Scottish Highlands! ), so I drew the sigil outside on a shell, using the variant obtained by Stephen Branch. After lighting some joss sticks and meditating focused on the sigil for a time I closed my eyes and saw the sigil entering me and growing to envelop me from within.
I asked about the Fotamecus ritual we had planned, since this was daylight savings weekend and we had a marked clock we wanted to sacrifice. Trigag approved of the rite and promised to lend energy in support of it. Their reasoning had to do with mistaking a predictable rhythm that only occurs in specific conditions with time itself. Outside of those conditions of speed, gravity and pressure, time behaves differently. He then gave me an overview of relativity with the example of two particles passing by each other, each travelling at the speed of light in opposite directs. I admit my physics knowledge isn’t really equipped to understand this, but apparently time distorts in some way locally such that the relative speed between them as they pass is still no greater than the speed of light.
Trigag identified with Chronos. Not the younger ordered time Chronos, but the older consort of Ananke, the serpentine god of flowing time. They then told me that stars to them were like krill to a whale, and the scale of time experienced by creatures living around such a star was of little significance. They then warned me of the consequences of moving away from a rigid time based career to something more achronistic.
This might tie in with the sigil from Ino concerning crypto currency economy. I expressed my fear that this might not be workable. Trigag simply responded that it didn’t matter if it was workable, I had to try.
Fotamecus Film Magic: In a homage to the original fotamecus film magic ritual, we made a magical film of a clock marked with the sigil which we ultimately smash with a hammer. We haven’t edited or even looked at this footage yet, so I can only hope it is usable. The magic itself was pretty dramatic.
Dream: On a beach and I notice some white shapes on a rock. At first I think they are seals but then I realise they are sheep. They are trapped by the tide and need to get to safety. I urge them to swim ashore and they come towards the beach through the water. Either they swim or the water is shallow enough for them to wade. We end up on a strange square of land with some crops. I sense the need to bring more soil so it remains above sea level. I erect a step ladder for the sheep to climb higher.
Dream 2: There is a boat race and everyone marvels at my sailing skill, skimming across giant waves, launching off them into the air like they are ramps, and landing just right to keep speed, easilly speeding past my more cautious competitors. However, little do they know, it is not skill but magic. Some spirit sails the boat for me and I am terrified by the risky manoeuvres it makes, holding on for dear life!
Garden: Another nice day weather wise we spend more time in the garden. Dana prepares the Zalty sigil whilst I work on the one for Red King.
Ritual: We again used the Stephen Branch variant Trigag sigil, this time in chalk by our outdoor chimney fire. We meditated sitting in reclining garden chairs. This time I asked about what I feared most. There followed an interesting discussion in which Trigag probed me for things I feared. I’m opting to keep this discussion between myself and Trigag however…
In the fire afterwards I saw a pareidolia of the black rat.
Dream: In a small house with the black rat and other rats running around. I had to tell a woman to be careful of the rat babies crawling around in the carpet, because the black rat would become a lot less friendly if anything happened to them through her carelessness, such as standing on one.
Ritual: Today we decided to try scrying in the cuttlefish ink bowl. Dana and I discussed our different scrying techniques. Dana shared her technique of waiting for pareidolia to appear in the blurring shapes that appear in the bowl, whereas I shared mine which was to wait for image flashes, or visions, to interrupt a single minded object concentration on the blackness. In either case a mental note of the forms is made. I decided to try out Dana’s technique.
My own sequence of images were:
- Trigag sigil (This was deliberately visualised)
- Cuttlefish (Perhaps because I knew the ink came from cuttlefish).
- Crescent Moon
- Dark Moon (It was new moon that day)
- Xenomorph young
- Black crab
- Spider crab
- Alien spider crab entities
Dream: A very strange dream about a scandal in which a British Navy vessel hoses down a smaller ship of Japanese women in distress, sparking an international incident.
Ritual: This time we used the DKMU – Starshadow video on loop from youtube instead of our playlist. For this reason we included it in the youtube Trigag playlist we made. Amusingly we seemed to be view 666 of the video when I started playing. I was thinking of the number 666 when we started the ritual, but Trigag told me “Stop being distracted by trivialities.”
I appologised, explaining that it doesn’t take much to amuse us because our lives are so dull.
“On the contrary, your lives are anything but dull. I find your kind quite fascinating. That something so complex could exist at such a microscopic scale of space and time. That a whole civilisation of your kind can rise and fall in the time it takes for me to blink my eye.”
I asked Trigag if they had any parting wisdom to share. They disdained wisdom, advising only the pursuit of power. To obtain power they advised growing big, obtaining mass by whatever means possible, without compromising myself in the process, so that eventually my gravity becomes self sustaining, drawing in new mass by the very nature of existing. They then gave me as sigil for increasing my mass, gravity, power and attraction.
Visitation: A garden spider visited our home.